Tips for Mothers of the Bride | Reno Magazine

Recently, I was asked to write an article for Reno Magazine, a lifestyle magazine focusing on the favorite products, places, and pastimes of their viewers. The focus of this current issue is fitness, travel, and wedding plans! I was honored to receive this invitation. I decided to write about something that is not often discussed - the mother-daughter relationship throughout the planning process.

This can be a delicate topic and is different from one wedding to another, depending on the relationship of the mother and daughter. Any issus nd sensitivities are usually private and personal, and only known to the mother and daughter. In creating this article, I looked back into my years of experience in working with many a bride and a mom that have experienced episodes of not seeing eye-to-eye. I totally get it - it can be really difficult to get along seamlessly when dealing with thousands of dollars, all of your family and friends, and let's not forget ... emotions! Hopefully these Tips for the Mother of the Bride will help avoid any turmoils!

Read the article in full on Reno Magazine's site or read it below.

Avoid Bridal Meltdowns, Tips for Mothers of the Bride As seen in March, 2011 issue of Reno Magazine

When it comes to a wedding celebration, there are oodles of lovely and enjoyable things a mother and daughter can do to plan the perfect day. I have fluffed many a train, defeated Mother Nature’s outbursts, and directed teams of wedding professionals; but when it comes to mothers and their daughters there are a few key points that must be addressed, prior to working with me.

You want to enjoy both the wedding planning process and the wedding day, thus before you get too involved, it is very important that you have a simple conversation with your daughter, mainly discussing one little but ultra imperative question, “How can I help?” You may be thinking, “I’m her mother, why would I need to ask this?” Well, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I do want to help you avoid many mother-of-the-bride-bridal-breakdown moments! First and foremost, the purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the bride and the groom; regardless of how simple or extravagant this wedding becomes, always keep this in the front of your mind. The wedding should reflect the bride and groom’s personalities. Out of a hundred and something weddings I have had two mothers take it upon themselves to plan a wedding that reflected their individual styles, wishes, and personalities. In both cases the bride couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over and didn’t enjoy much of the celebration at all. To prevent this from happening to you, I have created a list of tips and helpful pointers.

UNROMANTIC, BUT IMPERATIVE DETAILS

1. Who’s paying? First and foremost determine who is paying for the wedding. If you are splitting the bill, make sure you note on a word or excel doc how much each person is contributing. If you would like your money to go towards a very specific part of the wedding, note this in the document as well. But, keep in mind that footing the entire or partial bill doesn’t mean you can control every aspect and design every part of the event.
2. What's Your Budget? It is absolutely essential to set an overall budget prior to booking any vendors and seeking venues. Allocate specific funds to each category and consult with your planner for suggestions.
3. Prioritize! After solidifying the above, determine the bride and groom’s priorities (great band, the wine, the décor, etc). Select 3 – 4 and spend a higher percentage of your budget here.

ENJOY THE PLANNING PROCESS

1. Blend style and decor -Discover your daughter’s style - if she is a tomboy, don’t force ultra girly-girl ideas on her. Figure out her style and find things that enhance it, not transform it.
2. Be a helping hand - Offer your assistance, but don’t require that your opinions and ideas must be put in place. Agree to compromise on the aspects that are really important to each of you.
3. Play favorites - Create a list of things you would like to help with. Ask her to choose a few things from your list.
4. Avoid Comparisons - Try not to compare this wedding to ones in the past like yours, or your sister's wedding 10 years ago. Trends change and styles differ; your daughter will only grow to be frustrated if she thinks you are trying to create your own wedding day.

How to Obtain a Marriage License in Lake Tahoe

I recently wrote this article for Tahoe Unveiled and since every Tahoe bride and groom needs to know how to obtain a marriage license, I am posting the bits and bobs here too!

Prior to saying your "I do's" you have to obtain one very important piece of paper - a Marriage License! The main rule of thumb is to apply for the license in the same county as your ceremony location. In the small region that covers Lake Tahoe, there are a total of five counties. To help you find the correct office based on your ceremony county, we have listed the towns and counties below, along with a list of requirements.

Counties

Placer County Olympic Valley, Tahoe City, Carnelian Bay, Tahoe Vista, Kings Beach, Homewood (the beginning of the west shore), and part of Truckee Nevada County Nevada County covers part of Truckee (inquire with your venue to find out if the location falls in Placer County or Nevada County) El Dorado County Tahoma and South Lake Tahoe Washoe County Incline Village and Reno Douglas County Glenbrook, Zephyr Cove, and Stateline

Requirements

* Call in advance to schedule an appointment * Both the bride and groom must be present * Government issued identification * Proof of divorce if previously married * Cash or check for full payment * Application is valid for 90 days

Feel free to leave a comment with any questions!

Bridesmaid dresses...that they'll wear again!

It is time to banish the dreaded "bridesmaid dress" in favor of something that can be worn for more than just one day!  While it is becoming common knowledge that some mainstream retailers such as Jcrew, Anthropologie, and White House Black Market have great options, if not dedicated wedding lines, we'd like to introduce you to a few other stores that provide great alternatives.

Piperlime-

The little sister of Banana Republic, Piperlime offers a collection that ranges from flirty and fun to sophisticated, with styles from familiar labels.

Zara & Mango-

These European imports, Zara and Mango, carry trendy styles that allow you to mix different dresses from within the same collection for a not too matchy look.

Thread & Lela Rose-

While these are indeed bridesmaid dresses, both Thread and Lela Rose offer an amazing level of personalization that will satisfy a variety of styles!

Infinity Dress-

Last but not least, the dress that can be fit to flatter every body-type without the help of a seamstress! Available everywhere from Target to Saks, the infinity dress allows you to have a consistent look while keeping all your bridesmaids happy.

How to Pack for Your Destination Wedding Or Honeymoon!

A few weeks ago, I created this 'how to' post for my Tahoe Unveiled viewers. It was such a big hit, that I thought my One Fine Day viewers would like it to!

Packing a suitcase for any occasion is always a challenge. But, Martha Stewart featured a fabulous article in her destination magazine that I just have to share with all you honeymooners - how to pack efficiently!

Layer One -  Shoes, Jeans, & Jackets

Line the bottom with shoes and tech gear in bags. Fill the center with rolled-up jeans and jacket. Martha stores all of her shoes in felt bags - this could be a great favor idea ladies!

Layer Two - Dresses

Lay dresses and pants lengthwise on top of the first layer, letting the ends hang over the sides of the luggage.

Layer Three - Shirts & Sweaters

Roll shirts and sweaters. Place them on top of the second layer. Cover them with the ends of the dresses and pants from the layer underneath.

Layer Four - Delicates & Toiletries

Fold delicates. Place toiletries and lingerie into separate bags. Set it all on top. Flight 001 "F1 Spacepak Lingerie" bag

One Fine Day Featured on Catherine Hall’s Blog

One Fine Day is featured on Catherine Hall Studios' blog about the issue many brides and grooms have about inviting kids. You can view the post below or go to Catherine's new site:

Kids or no Kids: A Wedding Conundrum

Event planner Stephanie Anderson of One Fine Day and the brand-new wedding site, Tahoe Unveiled, authored a guest post for my blog. Stephanie is a talented professional with a gift for producing off-the-charts events. Today, she addresses a couple's inevitiable wedding conundrum.

Inviting kids to a wedding? A few of my brides have inquired about the difficulties of guests with kids. Although kids are lovely and can be very endearing, you may not want to hear crying and screaming on your wedding day. In addition, it can be pretty tricky to invite your friends and not their kids, especially if travel is involved. To avoid the hassle, the arguments, and any hard feelings, try one of these ideas:

1. Hire a babysitter. Inform your guests that a babysitter will take care of your kids throughout the ceremony and reception. For your slightly paranoid parents, you may want to hire someone with First Aid certification or from an agency. Ask your venue if they have a spare room you can use as the kid's room.

2. Kiddie Corner. Designate one or two tables at the reception to kids only. Garnish the table with GI Joes, coloring books, Pretty Pretty Princess, and Hungry Hippo (clearly my childhood favorites). If you are worried about the kids wandering off, hire a babysitter to sit at the table with them.

3. Hire a magician! Kids are easily distracted, so if games won’t cut it, then hire a clown or a magician to keep them entertained and away from your lime light!

Thank you Catherine for featuring One Fine Day on your blog!

To view Catherine Hall's new website or to learn more about One Fine Day, click on the following: www.catherinehall.net www.onefinedayevents.com

How Important is an Engagement Session?

Not too long ago, I met with Tourine Johnstone of Johnstone Studios to discuss the meaning, purpose, and importance of engagement photo shoots. The final interview was posted on Tahoe Unveiled's blog. Here's a little teaser, to read the entire interview, click here.

What is an engagement session?

An engagement session is an opportunity to receive an informal series of professional images of you two as a couple. The goal being to capture you as a couple: having fun, being yourselves, and capturing a moment in time as you are starting your venture as a new family. It's a relaxed practice run that provides you the experience of being in front of the lens and having professional photos taken.

How is an engagement session beneficial? This is a prime opportunity to critique and assess what you love and don't love about yourself in photos, while anticipating what will come on the wedding day. Working with your photographer ahead of time undoubtedly provides you with confidence in their abilities,professional direction, and an intimate look at yourself through the eye of a photographer.

Part of the beauty of engagement sessions is that they are candid, real time, non- studio events focused on evoking emotion and capturing you in a beautiful setting with flattering light....read more.

Tahoe Unveiled | Catherine Hall is a Keynote Speaker

One of the highlights of Tahoe Unveiled's, A Day in the Mountains, is a fabulous presentation by Catherine Hall, a photographer recognized worldwide for her artistic brilliance! Today, Catherine has written noted her upcoming presentation on her blog. You can view a clip below, or go to her site to read the entire article.

In conjunction with One Fine Day, an event planning company, Tahoe Unveiled is hosting a weekend of "splendor, luxury, and education" at the PlumpJack Squaw Valley Inn. The occasion--called A Day in the Mountains--offers brides and grooms the opportunity to enjoy a weekend getaway and develop relationships with some of Lake Tahoe's finest photographers, florists, planners, and venue coordinators. I'm pleased and honored to be a keynote speaker for this event, at which I will deliver a talk about how to craft utterly elegant, wholly exquisite pictures of your wedding day.

I invite you to read a description of my talk for A Day in the Mountains: "Did you know that it's a bride's loss to select a standard hotel room for her bridal chamber? Has anybody warned you against sitting in front of a window during your reception? Have you heard about the critical Golden Hour yet? Are you curious to learn how you can look, well, absolutely stunning in your pictures? In her discussion, Catherine reveals an elite photographer's tricks of the trade, which will enable you to make the right decisions before your special day.....read more

One Fine Day Featured on Catherine Hall's Blog | A Wedding Conundrum

We are thrilled to be featured on Catherine Hall's blog! We wrote a guest post about the predicament many couple's face when inviting families to their wedding. It is always nice to invite the entire family to your wedding, but sometimes it's easier to either not invite the kids, or provide a kid-friendly environment. You can read the guest post here:

Catherine Hall Studios

Kids or no Kids: A Wedding Conundrum

Event planner Stephanie Anderson of One Fine Day and the brand-new wedding site, Tahoe Unveiled, authored a guest post for my blog. Stephanie is a talented professional with a gift for producing off-the-charts events. Today, she addresses a couple's inevitiable wedding conundrum.

Inviting kids to a wedding? A few of my brides have inquired about the difficulties of guests with kids. Although kids are lovely and can be very endearing, you may not want to hear crying and screaming on your wedding day. In addition, it can be pretty tricky to invite your friends and not their kids, especially if travel is involved. To avoid the hassle, the arguments, and any hard feelings, try one of these ideas:

1. Hire a babysitter. Inform your guests that a babysitter will take care of your kids throughout the ceremony and reception. For your slightly paranoid parents, you may want to hire someone with First Aid certification or from an agency. Ask your venue if they have a spare room you can use as the kid's room.

2. Kiddie Corner. Designate one or two tables at the reception to kids only. Garnish the table with GI Joes, coloring books, Pretty Pretty Princess, and Hungry Hippo (clearly my childhood favorites). If you are worried about the kids wandering off, hire a babysitter to sit at the table with them.

3. Hire a magician! Kids are easily distracted, so if games won’t cut it, then hire a clown or a magician to keep them entertained and away from your lime light!

Thank you Catherine for featuring One Fine Day on your blog!

To view Catherine Hall's new site or to learn more about Tahoe Unveiled, click on the following:

www.catherinehall.net

www.tahoeunveiled.com

Yikes, Planning a Wedding Is Tough!

Did you know that 43 businesses are involved in the average American Wedding. Forty Three businesses! These are the "post-booking businesses," so your florist, rental company, photographer, permit company, etc, etc. Can you imagine the amount of businesses you need to contact before you get to your final 43? To help narrow down your "pre-43 biz contacts" here are a few tips:

1. Make a budget - first and foremost, this is drastically important. Create a spreadsheet and allocate funds to each category. Even if you are unaware of what a photographer costs, guesstimate. You don't want to realize you spent 90% of your money before even booking your catering company. Google has a great tool for free -

2. Hire a wedding coordinator - many think they can do it all....but after reaching maybe half of your 'final 43' you will realize, planning a wedding for 50, 100, 200, or even 300 or so people is overwhelming. Wedding coordinators spend their days negotiating, advising, and taking care of the many unromantic details involved with creating an organized and lovely celebration. Wedding Coordinators also know the top 50 vendors in their area - so they can assist in vastly reducing the amount of companies you need to contact. Better yet, they can even do it for you!

3. Determine the style of your wedding - Would you like a backyard soiree or a formal ballroom celebration? Would you like your photographer to take mostly candid photos, or do you love the creative posed shots? Would you like elegant, tall centerpieces, or simple wildflowers in mason jars? Think about who you are as a couple and how you would like your event to reflect your personalities. Then, list off each category (photographer, florist, venue, food, etc) and make a few bullet points of the style you are aiming for. This will help tremendously when deciding between vendors and when reducing your list of companies to contact. It will also help your vendors determine how they can taylor their services to your ideal wedding.

4. Ask for help - don't be afraid to ask your coordinator for advice. We are professionals in guiding you to your happy day. Whether it be to review your budget and perhaps give a reality check on the likelihood of staying within it, or to review a few contracts, or even to advise on which accessory will compliment your theme.

5. Outsource - with a full time job, a social life, and the fear of turnig into bridezilla looming over your head, you have to face the facts and realize that you can't do it all. Consider your time and how much it is worth? Do you really want to spend hours trying to create a pretty invitation out of scrap paper, or would it be worth while to spend the money on a professional invitation company that has oodles of experience in designing and producing pretty invitations?

Candy Buffets ~ The pros and cons of candy favors

The perfect assemblance of a color coordinated candy buffet  will evoke "oohs and ahhs" when your guests first enter the room. The cohesive architecture is intended to portray somewhat of an entertaining decoration. But, consider the alternate vision as the evening ensues and more guests dive into their sugar craving, leaving half full containers and candy spilled all over the table. Before you purchase infinite amounts of candy and varying vases and jars, consider the following pros and cons:

Pros ~

1. The look is dramatic, organized, and colorful - you can easily accentuate your colors in a bold manner.

2. Not only does it serve as a favor, but it can also serve as a late night snack.

3. The cost can be relatively cheap, as you can reuse the vases and jars in your house.

4. Kids will love it!

Cons ~

1. During the reception, the table will look messy and disorganized, which in essence negates the purpose of the display.

2. Requires someone to repeatedly refill the containers and clean up the mess ~ not a task for a guest, as their favorite song may drag them to the dance floor, stealing their "candy attending" attention.

3. Requires you to also purchase coordinating bags or boxes for the candy.

4. If you're reception is outdoors, the animals may devour it prior to your guests!

5. If kids attend your wedding, they will occupy the table.

6. When you run out of candy the look turns from fab to drab.

Kids or no Kids? How to handle inviting guest's kids to your wedding.

Inviting kids to a wedding? A few of my brides have inquired about the difficulties of guests with kids. Although kids are lovely and can be very endearing, you may not want to hear crying and screaming on your wedding day. In addition, it can be pretty tricky to invite your friends and not their kids, especially if travel is involved. To avoid the hassle, the arguments, and any hard feelings, try one of these ideas:

1. Hire a babysitter. Inform your guests that a babysitter will take care of your kids throughout the ceremony and reception. For your slightly paranoid parents, you may want to hire someone with First Aid certification. Ask your venue if they have a spare room you can use as the kids corner.

2. Kiddie Corner. Designate one or two tables at the reception to kids only. Garnish the table with GI Joes, coloring books, Pretty Pretty Princess, and Hungry Hippo (clearly my childhood favorites). If you are worried about the kids wondering off, hire a babysitter to sit at the table with them.

3. Hire a magician! Kids are easily distracted, so if games won't cut it, then hire a clown or a magician to keep them entertained and away from your lime light!

Wedding Planner Scam

Unfortunately this post is not very fun or light hearted. I recently became a victim of a scam, but fortunately realized the fallacy before I entered serious financial trouble. A man by the name of Peter Woodgate emailed me to say he and his fiancé live in the UK and are getting married in Lake Tahoe. They would not be able to visit Tahoe prior to the wedding and would like a wedding coordinator to take care of the details. A few emails later, he disclosed that he would be sending me a check in the amount of $45,000 to pay for all wedding expenses. I asked to setup a phone meeting to discuss all of the details, he emailed me his number. I was a little suspicious as most people with a budget of $45,000 wouldn't just hand over a check in the full amount. They also would have much more interest in the type of flowers, style, and vendors booked. So, I googled the phone number (01144-704-579-8736) and sure enough it was a scam. The idea is that he sends over the "cashiers check" and then asks you to wire some of the money back. He then has your bank account number and hacks away, stealing all of your money!

Hopefully, nobody falls for this scam!

Decorating your Church Wedding

I found this great ideas on Intimate Weddings' blog today - decorate your Church pews with lanterns to create a beautiful candle-lit aisle!

Bring the Church Outside

Bring part of the Church outside by renting pews from an event renal company. It creates a unique and beautiful setting - something different from the traditional white folding chairs. 

7 Dos and Don'ts When Planning Your Wedding

1. Don't rely on your friends to set-up the wedding decor day of the wedding, even if you are 3 peas in a pod.  Many brides make this mistake.  Their friends listen to the sagas and the woes of the bride, and the emotional impulse to help becomes an offer.  Yet, what the bride doesn't realize is that her friends don't actually mean they can help the day of the wedding; the day they have spent big bucks for the flight, their outfit, the present, and so forth.  What happens if the friends run out of time when getting ready and don't get to the decorations?  2. Don't do everything yourself, especially the week of the wedding.  Cutting your budget is important, but make sure you realize the consequences before you oust the paper company and get stuck gluing and printing 200 menus, 200 programs, and 200 place cards, the night before the wedding.  Check with your wedding planner for sound advice in ways to trim your budget.

3. Order more alcohol than necessary.  Alcohol is one of the most surprisingly expensive, yet important items of a wedding.  It is also a great way to say, "thank you for coming to our wedding, please enjoy a few drinks on us."  A good formula to use is 2 drinks per person, per hour.  If your guests aren't huge drinkers, shrink this down to 1.5 drinks per person, per hour.  For example, if cocktails start at 5pm and the reception ends at 11pm and you have 100 guests, allow for 1,200 beverages.  This seems exorbitant, but can you imagine running out of alcohol at 9pm when the band has 2 more hours of stage time?  Your guests will begin to pieter out leaving you on the dance floor by yourself.

 4. Be wary of floating candles and flowers in the pool. If your site has a pool, pond, or some sort of body of water, you may want to just leave it be.  Floating candles and flower arrangements tend to either blow out, topple over, or cluster in the corner.  They may look pretty at first, but wait until you see your pictures and they look like dark, peculiar blobs in the background.

5. Don't allow open mic for speeches. Drunk slurs and emotions never make for good speeches.  Leave the speeches to the best man, maid of honor, and parents.  Let your guests write their endearing thoughts in your guest book. 

6. Check with the venue before scattering petals and confetti.  Petals and confetti can make for an intense mess and an even more intense clean-up.  Before coming across the "extra fees" section of your bill, consult with the venue coordinators.

7. Avoid soup for plated meals. Even if you are having a winter wedding, soup is a bad idea.  By the time the service staff serves all 200 guests their bowl of soup, it is beyond luke warm.  Stick to salads, appetizers, and other 'easy to carry' items. 

Photos from your Guests

I just found this wonderful article posted on Intimate Weddings' Blog (www.intimateweddings.com/blog/). During the wedding all of your guests are snapping away taking photos of all the great moments, but the chances of you ever seeing those images are pretty slim to none! UNLESS you have a "DIY Photo Station" at your wedding. All you need is a laptop, a couple different types of card readers, and someone to man the station. Genius idea!

5 Clever Wedding Ideas

1. Having a casual wedding? Use mason jars for glasses. 2. Need a container to hold ice, trash, or decorations?  Use galvanized cans. They come in all shapes and sizes and they look much nicer than a dirty plastic garbage can or bus tub.

3. Need a unique Place Card holder? Use picture frames - they can serve as the favor too!  Milano Series has great clear/paper weight holders that are elegant and functional.

4. Worried about guests losing their freshly poured cocktail? Offer charms or even snazzy name tags at the bar.  These are especially good for mason jars.

5. Having part of your wedding outside? Rent some outdoor lounge furniture.

Simple Place Card Ideas

Although pretty simple, place cards can create a beautiful display and create a graceful entrance to the reception room. You can spend pennies or dollars when creating this display. Check out a few pics below to view simple arrangements:

A fresh rose with place card attached. Christy and John had their wedding date embossed into the card and each person's name engraved in gold writing.

A bed of wild rice held the wine corks in place. Each cork was sliced horizontally to make a perfect slit for the place cards. This display holds up on windy days!

Simple cards clipped onto a string. A simple tablecloth and ribbon incorporates the colors and design of the wedding.

What better way to tie in the beach theme than use sand for the place cards. Since it was a little breezy, the baskets allowed us to easily move the place cards inside during the ceremony and quickly bring them outside as guests approached the table!

Organic & fresh! Incorporating the mountain theme with a green wedding, these place cards were symmetrically placed on a striped linen.